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Call This Number to Have a Funny Response

Written By Wednesday, June 22, 2022 Add Comment Edit

Funny means to answer the phone?

Posted by Erin for Vonage


I call my parents every now and so, and 95% of the time, well knowing it'south me, my dad answers the phone with either, "Skilful evening, Joe's Bar & Grill. This is Joe, how many in your party?" or my other personal favorite, "YYEELLLLOOOOOOOOO?"

What are some weird or funny means you answer the phone either for people yous exercise or don't know?

59 Replies

  • I like to answer the phone with "Jimmy Johns!" or "WHAT" or just silence so it get's them all shook. Power MOVES

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  • I had a friend in college who, whenever someone chosen late at night, would respond thusly:

    Nobody I know would telephone call at this hour!

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  • Not a fashion to respond the phone per say but my friends and I would tape our voicemail greetings as if we were answering the phone and so continuing to have a conversation and having the caller believe we were at that place only to cease up with "I'm only joking dude, you got my voicemail, leave a message and I'll get dorsum to y'all."

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  • "Go ahead caller, you're on the air!"


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  • "Joe's Pool Hall, which eight Ball you want?"

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  • WIRE THE Money OR ELSE

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  • If information technology'due south someone I know I sometimes respond "Urban center Morgue; yous stab em' we slab em'!"

    CK

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  • "State Farm, This is Jake"

    The quicker thinkers will respond "What are you wearing, Jake from State Farm?"

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  • Answer the phone but put it down and yell at any is on Boob tube.

    "Eff sakes Mr. Bean!!"

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  • "Joe's Pizza, yous want Chinese?"

    "Cho's Chinese, you want pizza?"

    "At the tone, the time volition be..."

    "911, what is your emergency?"

    Recite the answering automobile bulletin.

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  • Michael Scott's Dunder Mifflin Scranton Meredith Palmer Memorial Glory Rabies Sensation Pro-Am Fun Run Race For The Cure.

    A co-worker pretends to exercise this when I walk by.

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  • How-do-you-do. This is Peggy.


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  • I have done the "Joe's Bar and Grill" matter on occasion when I knew who was calling.

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  • [heavy breathing sounds] He'south dead now.  [gasp for air]  What do you want me to do with the trunk?

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  • Thank yous for helping, may I hold you?

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  • <insert name, business, whatever> Summertime Home.  Some are here, some are not!

    Roadkill Cafe. You kill it, we grill information technology!

    Mule Befouled.  Head ass speaking!

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  • Mike's Allurement, Tackle and Lingerie Shop.

    Man, haven't thought of that in years.

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  • When it's one of my buddies, or someone at work I know well:  "Nib's Bait and Tackle."

    My name isn't Bill.

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  • *pick up*

    *13 seconds of silence*

    If they say nothing I hang up.

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  • @@NGIE wrote:

    "Go ahead caller, you're on the air!"


    I'm stealing this

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  • cmdlette wrote:

    *pick upwardly*

    *thirteen seconds of silence*

    If they say nothing I hang upward.

    This is actually my current standard for unknown numbers. I need to answer everything considering It *could* be piece of work and I am on-phone call...but if I don't know the number, chances are high that it'due south but robo-spam.  If it'due south a real person, they volition say something get-go.

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  • King's Crematorium and Crime Scene Cleanup...

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  • I like to respond calls as the county morgue. Though I've also been known to respond past saying "thanks for calling Marko'southward Dildo Emporium, how may I directly your call?".

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  • cmdlette wrote:

    *pick up*

    *13 seconds of silence*

    If they say nothing I hang upward.

    Except don't do that with my chemist's shop. I become automatic calls when a Rx is set up simply information technology won't showtime until information technology hears someone. I waited a adept 30 seconds once and By Godfrey equally soon every bit I said something it started.

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  • International House of Pancakes, Julie speaking

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  • dimforest wrote:

    @@NGIE wrote:

    "Go ahead caller, you're on the air!"


    I'thousand stealing this

    me besides!

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  • Ted'due south mule barn, head jacka$$ speaking

    Or my hubs likes to answer "Go for Mark"

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  • I used to answer the phone "City morgue, you stab 'em we slab 'em!"

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  • "Thank you for calling Whatsoever. Bar & Grille. Observe there's no P in it. How can I help yous?"

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  • When my dad answers a telemarking phone call:

    "(Radio call letters), Your live on the air"

    and my favorite "Sheriff's department, fraud partition" lol

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  • "Bailey summer dwelling, some are some own't"

    "Bailey funeral habitation, yous stab 'em we slab 'em, you kill 'em we arctic 'em"

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  • Not actually an answer phrase merely a few weeks ago some scam tried to call me nearly automobile insurance and so i told them my proper name was Joe Smithson (it is not) and gave them simulated car information. When they went to transfer me to a different department, i hung upwardly. They chosen dorsum two days later asking for Joe Smithson and i told them that he passed away two years ago.

    Other times I just first speaking terrible broken English, some Spanish, or one of the few Japanese phrases I picked up from all the anime. Usually throws them off.

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  • Lafleur laundry, which old bag would you like to speak to?

    $MadeUpName It Security Department.  How did y'all get this number? Delight be aware that this call is existence recorded and traced.

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  • Subsequently years in call center back up I sometimes still begin my standard tech support greeting "Give thanks yous for calling... uh... Andy, this is Andy. Can I get your serial number delight?"

    Sometimes I answer similar a hitman packing his rifle into a briefcase and but command "speak."

    I chosen my sister once and she simply asked "what?" like I but said something and she didn't take hold of it. It was very confusing.

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  • @@NGIE wrote:

    "Go alee caller, you're on the air!"


    I used to do that when I offset got my wireless headset. The callers always got tripped up as I modify my voice.

    "Hi you're on the air caller number 12." *enthusiastically* "You've won!!", *dejectedly* "admittedly nothing. This is IT."

    Pizza pizza!

    Mushi mushi - A Japanese phone greeting some of my friends apply.

    Meow.

    I ofttimes answer all my phone lines with "It". Most of the robo calls don't hear that as a trigger and I go hung up on.

    Whenever I do get a telephone call with a fake caller id, my own number, or a 555, I answer the call "Hello, your caller id is invalid or impossible. You are already lying, what is your next prevarication?" Any response with a generic visitor I reply with "You're lying, what's your next prevarication? What is your real company, liar?" Any response, "How am I to believe you, you already lied 4 times. How well-nigh getting an honest task?" I go for soul crushing.

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  • I have used: "Barney's Beef and Things.  You lot kill it and we'll grill it!  How can I help you today?"

    Only Caller ID is paramount for this

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  • I don't say hello. I just start ordering pizzas.

    "Yep I'd like a big extra cheese with sausage, 2 smalls with pepperoni, a side of cheesy bread..."

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  • Varies between:

    "Charlie Browns Car Repair Store"

    "Speak" (they way Johnny Sack in The Sopranos answers his telephone)

    "Ahoy hoy"

    "What in the name of Satan's Portion do you want now"

    On where I definitely know the who the caller is.  I as well like to modify the tag on numbers to something amusing.  When one of the Operations Managers had his third auto crash in four months, his mobile was inverse to Crash Bandicoot.

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  • "Alcoholics anonymous"

    "Jack Daniels speaking"

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  • I have a few ways to amuse myself when answering the telephone, especially if I know its going to exist a telemarketer. Some of my favourites I've stolen from people over the years....

    I sometimes pretend that I'k calling someone, and so instead of saying, "Hi?" and waiting for the person calling me to talk, I just answer the phone with, "Hi, is Dave in that location?"

    or

    (abroad from the telephone) "I've told you already I won't let y'all put that in me."

    (in phone) "Hello?"

    or for the more adventurously inclined,

    Jim's sperm bank. You smack information technology, nosotros pack information technology! How can I assist you today?

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  • In the style of Papa Lazarou from The League of Gentlemen?


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  • If I don't recognize the number at work, I simply reply "hello."  If it is some numbnuts telemarketer, I commencement to give them the tertiary caste.  I can put on a wicked Down East emphasis when I want to and my voice is already gravelly from years of working retail and other assorted jobs when I had to shout constantly to be heard (retrieve the Car Talk guys, but mean sounding).

    "Who is this?"
    "How did you get this number?"
    "This number is not public facing.  I demand to know how you acquired information technology."
    "Then let me talk to the person in charge of this listing."

    Or

    "The individual you are looking for is under investigation.  What is your connection to him?"

    Or

    I put them on speaker phone, pull up Helm Clock by Jinjer and just permit 'er rip.

    If information technology is my jail cell phone and I'm feeling snarky I will generally practice one of the following:

    "This Sean Buchard with the FBI department of fraud.  Who am I talking to?"

    If it is the place trying to extend my automobile warranty:
    "My name is Dr. Emmett Brown.  Don't forget the 'Dr.'  No, you may not telephone call me Mr Chocolate-brown.  You may call me Dr.  My car?  A 1982 Delorean DMC12.  What model?  Ma'am they only made one.  Do I have anything newer?  I got this ane only a few days ago in the future.  Hello?"

    If information technology is the place trying to get me a lower credit card involvement rate:
    "I have a Capitol 2 carte.  No, Capitol two.  It'due south like Capitol Ane just worse."

    Or simply:
    "Who are you looking for?  Oh.  He's dead."

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  • I don't answer the phone. If it was of import, they will get out a message. Chances are, information technology is simply whichever scammers Google sold my telephone number to.

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  • My father, after years of smoking and circulatory bug, finally got an "implant". At outset he didn't want me to know about it (tough career Marine, you know) simply he realized it couldn't be a underground since I was going to visit for Xmas correct after the surgery when he would be recuperating.

    As time went on I finally stopped calling to chat and saying "Hey, what's upwards?" Because he would say "Cipher, 'less I pump it up!"

    Guess he did kinda accept a sense of humor...

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  • Yeallo!

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  • I like " Yeller ". Don't really become too wild.

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  • cmdlette wrote:

    *pick upwardly*

    *13 seconds of silence*

    If they say nothing I hang up.

    I mean it makes sense, correct? If someone calls me they know who i am. If they don't, why should i tell them. They have to tell me who the hell they are and then perchance nosotros can talk. I only answer my mobile phone if i know the caller.

    At work it's different of course, because they might call for a colleague or they might be unsure how to pronounce the clusterfuck of letters that i call my surname.

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  • (off phone) ... Side by side fourth dimension brand sure he'due south actually dead... (on telephone) Yeah, I'1000 decorated??

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  • Where I work we have about 100 employees and our phones prove usa who is calling.  I love nothing more than when our CFO or CEO calls me directly because I have washed...

    Thanks for calling technical support.  Due to our extremely heavy call book your agree time is 30 minutes.  If you would prefer a phone call back please press ii, hang up, and your phone call will be returned in the club received.

    The first fourth dimension I did that to our CFO he had the call on speaker phone and was having trouble with using one of the briefing rooms that had 5 guests.  Skilful times!

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  • MSP I used to work for (second tier, no direct customer calls ever) with one of the post-obit:

    1. Earth!
    2. Sonar...
    3. Why is my phone ringing?

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Source: https://community.spiceworks.com/topic/2225660-funny-ways-to-answer-the-phone

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